"Sun shows up for another dawn, close my eyes how life goes on"
- Allison Parisi (How Far Between)
It's impossible to understand fully the impact someone is going to have on our lives when we first meet them. But for some, you learn exactly what kind of person they are right from the start - and that impression only strengthens with time.
Upon hire, Allison immediately folded me into her team. She was supportive, collaborative, welcoming, and kind. She spent time helping me understand my role and the expectations of the department, organization, and our team. I've now mentioned this a couple of times as a compliment to Allison; but starting as a new "work from home" employee, during COVID without her... well, it would have been unnecessarily difficult. In a space where plenty of employees and supervisors seem to prefer the "sink or swim" method for acclimating new employees (clearly contributing to an incredibly high turnover rate), Allison demonstrated just how unique she was. And, she did all of this before she even knew me.
Along the way, Allison stopped being "just" my boss. With time, she became my friend and my biggest cheerleader. She had a way of making people feel heard. She listened, and I mean really listened, during conversations. She observed and celebrated the attributes, skills, and experiences of others; and, she was unwavering in how she championed their ideas (as if they were her own). I now know, after her celebration of life and multiple conversations with others, the depth of her imprint in this capacity.
Admittedly, I was surprised to learn that she was like this for so many people. Amid my own struggles and goal reaching, she was always in my corner. How could one person be that for so many people? It seems implausible.
But, that was Allison.
I didn't know it at the time, but Allison was taken to the hospital when we were in the middle of an email thread. Two days before, she sent me an email celebrating a recent project completion of mine.
Of course she did. She was no longer my boss, but she was still her.
She said everything I would have wanted someone to acknowledge in response to the work I'd finished. I wrote her back on New Years Day, not knowing that she wouldn't see it.
"Happy New Year! Allison, this is definitely one of the things I will miss about working with you. You make me (and the work we do) feel seen (and important). I genuinely appreciate your words. I felt so good finishing up that project because it came out exactly the way we hoped it could when we first talked about it.
You still have time before your new job starts and I do hope you're using that time for yourself (and for the stuff/people that matter to you). I'm really glad we had the time we had to work together. You led with vision and determination, you understood our purpose in the work we do, and you supported me and my ideas... and I just really appreciate all of it."
I've left out some that I will just keep between she and I. But, every time I think about Allison not seeing this short email, disappointment and sadness seep in. Not because my words are anything special, but because she was; and while I know I've said similar things verbally to her at various times, there is nothing quite like receiving a text, a call, a letter, or even an email where someone sees you for who you are and has made a concerted effort to tell you.
And she deserved to read something like that.
I never once felt judgement from Allison. She was the embodiment of an open heart and an open mind: two qualities that can be hard to find in friends, let alone a supervisor. I am left knowing how hard she tried to improve upon the work we do. We shared a belief about not settling for doing things a certain way, just because that’s how they’ve always been done. I hope to continue on with her strength, her tenacity, and her compassion for the community - because that’s what she would have wanted.
Allison was the first person to ever notice my personalized license plate holder and actually recognize the band it was referring to. I vividly remember the look on her face when I told her that I'd seen the Avett Brothers many times, in three different countries and at least nine states. Her expression was a mixture of incredulity, amusement, and nothing but kindness. The connection made in that moment sparked so many future conversations about music we each enjoyed listening to and the music she was working on. It only makes sense to share a song Allison wrote herself, here.
And, as I wrote in some other dedication to Allison, I will miss laughing with her over absolutely nothing and talking to her about absolutely everything. She is missed - her light is missed.
How Far Between
Band: Dusty Tuffet Written By: Allison Parisi
Such a beautiful post, D. Sending you love ❤️