Gratitude

Updated: Feb 20, 2022

I don't know about the rest of you, but the last couple years have left me feeling a little … I don't know … underwhelmed with the current state of "goings on".

Sometimes it feels easy to get lost in it all. Sometimes it feels difficult acknowledging the good or finding the positive. Practicing gratitude is found to "enhance mental well-being" and promote a general appreciation of life, and it's just one tool I use to try to work through stress, anxiety, and depression.

Since 2017, I have maintained some sort of gratitude practice, and it was only a week ago that I realized I had fallen out of my routine. Life changes altered my schedule and then it just slipped, slipped away. So really, this post is also acting as a reminder to me.

It is essential I look for the positive that exists amid the negativity; because at times it can feel as though we're all drowning in the muck. It's a big part of why I go out of my way to surround myself with people who share similar outlooks, while simultaneously avoiding those who only spread gloom and hopelessness.

There are three ways I've incorporated gratitude into my life over these last five years, and they are listed here from most intensive to least:

Gratitude Journaling
Quick Observations
Start of Day/End of Day

Gratitude Journaling

I created a google doc back in 2018 that is just an ongoing gratitude journal. The first page includes tips, guiding ideas, and my journal template. With each entry, I simply copy/paste the template into my 2nd page (so the latest is always on top), and let the questions guide me through. Sometimes it's very quick and sometimes I write for a while.

I acquired the following tips/guiding questions from a couple Berkeley gratitude practice articles (see references below).

Don’t just go through the motions. Research by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and others suggests that journaling is more effective if you first make the conscious decision to become happier and more grateful. “Motivation to become happier plays a role in the efficacy of journaling,” says Emmons.
Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.
Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.
Try subtraction, not just addition. One effective way of stimulating gratitude is to reflect on what your life would be like without certain blessings, rather than just tallying up all those good things. Be grateful for the negative outcomes you avoided, escaped, prevented, or turned into something positive—try not to take that good fortune for granted.
Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.
Be as specific as possible. Specificity is key to fostering gratitude. “I’m grateful that my co-workers brought me soup when I was sick on Tuesday” will be more effective than “I’m grateful for my co-workers.”
See good things as “gifts.” Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts guards against taking them for granted. Try to relish and savor the gifts you’ve received.
Revise if you repeat. Writing about some of the same people and situations is OK, but try to highlight different aspects.
Write regularly. Commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment.
But, don’t overdo it. Evidence suggests writing occasionally (1-3 times per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. That might be because we adapt to positive events and can soon become numb to them—that’s why it helps to savor surprises.

"Trait-gratitude—a tendency to appraise, recognize and respond to life events through being grateful—is a determinant of mental health and well-being, and has been shown to be related to the positive appraisal of life." - Tachon; 2021

My Gratitude Journal Template

Date:

Things that went well this week-

Things that I’m grateful for this week-

What I’m looking forward to next week:

Self-compassion--something I like about myself:

Observations

Gratitude observations are an easy addition to a busy day and I really like how this practice requires I be mindful of the world around me. It's more about acknowledging what I like, or what I find beautiful, or what I think is amazing in my surroundings versus focusing on more intimate details of the week (along with my hopes and dreams) like I do in the journal.

For this practice, I use the Notes app on my phone. It's titled gratitude and it's just a list. My list looks something like this:

hummingbird sitting on the lemon tree
clear, blue sky with crisscrossing contrails
70 degrees, light breeze
coffee with homemade whip cream
pups wrestling
grapefruit from our tree

"Positive Psychology Interventions (PPI) can directly increase mental wellbeing [...] and gratitude interventions may promote the use of adaptive coping-styles, such as positive reframing. Positive reframing is the ability to develop positive interpretations of events that are firstly experienced as negative." - Bohlmeijer; 2021

Start of Day/End of Day

Starting the day and ending the day acknowledging what's good is a way to set up the day in the way you want (and then end the day in a similar mindset). Similar to gratitude observations, it's a very informal practice.

When I wake into a conscious state, I try to focus on three things I'm grateful for (or that make my life more pleasant). Often times in the morning, my gratitude tends to lean towards basic needs being met (shelter, a bed to sleep on, air conditioning if it's summertime in Arizona, a quiet neighborhood, food, a backyard space to drink tea in the morning) and family. This week Lulu joined the family and subsequently joined my "start of the day" thanks as an additional adventure companion.

My "end of day" thanks look a little different. These three thanks tend to recap the day's events in some way. Giving thanks for the day could look like: a positive interaction at work, beautiful weather, Lulu and Latimore getting along so soon, a delicious meal, or an after dinner walk with my husband.

Giving thanks appears to alter how I look at the world around me and as I've missed some of my practices it's quite obvious how important they all are for me.

"Positive psychology factors, such as gratitude and consistency of interest have direct, protective effects against mental distress." - Zhang; 2018

Before I go...

It should be mentioned before leaving this post that there is a certain amount of privilege that comes with the ability to even survey life, relationships, and environment, and consider all of the good that surrounds us. Opportunity and quality of life is just not the same for everyone.

"It seems difficult to imagine how [gratitude] could massively benefit those born without some form of inherent privilege [...] it is important to acknowledge that sometimes trends and advice, particularly in the health space, can be elitist and exclusionary." - Kibel, 2020

References:

Bohlmeijer, Ernst T., et al. “Promoting Gratitude as a Resource for Sustainable Mental Health: Results of a 3-Armed Randomized Controlled Trial up to 6 Months Follow-Up.” Journal of Happiness Studies, vol. 22, no. 3, Mar. 2021, pp. 1011–32. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-020-00261-5.
Bohlmeijer, Ernst, and Gerben Westerhof. “The Model for Sustainable Mental Health: Future Directions for Integrating Positive Psychology Into Mental Health Care.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 12, Oct. 2021, p. 747999. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.747999.
Gratitude Journal (Greater Good in Action). https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal. Accessed 13 Feb. 2022.
Tachon, Guillaume, et al. “Gratitude Moderates the Relation between Daily Hassles and Satisfaction with Life in University Students.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, vol. 18, no. 24, Dec. 2021, p. 13005. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182413005.
“Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal.” Greater Good, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal. Accessed 13 Feb. 2022.
“Why I Think We Need to Acknowledge Our Privilege When Practising Gratitude.” Fashion Journal, 20 Oct. 2020, https://fashionjournal.com.au/life/gratitude-privilege-manifesting/.
Zhang, Meng, et al. “Investigation of the Effects of Purpose in Life, Grit, Gratitude, and School Belonging on Mental Distress among Chinese Emerging Adults.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, vol. 15, no. 10, Sept. 2018, p. 2147. DOI.org (Crossref), https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph15102147.